At this year’s Academy Awards, I found two different ceremonies: a beautiful dream inside the theater, and a bleak reality at the lobby bar.
of those bad decisions — was absolute hell. I hoped that being physically present at the Oscars this year might either be entertaining enough to remind me why I like these freak shows to begin with or, at least, give me a not-quite-front-row seat to the oncoming train wreck that all signs pointed toward.
For us normies, just getting to the security checkpoint meant waiting in a 20-minute line that curled around the building. Once we were inside, it all felt surprisingly sincere and intimate. The auditorium looked like the venue where we held my junior prom, and the vibe matched — right down to a sort-of filthy carpet, people taking their heels off by 7 p.m.
I was seated in the first mezzanine, where there were hardly any celebrities at all, but it didn’t mean the people around me weren’t influential and rich. Other than nominees and garden-variety famouses, most Oscar attendees are investors, producers, Important Movie Folk, and Academy members. If you’re lucky enough to be allowed to buy a ticket for hundreds of dollars, you’ve purchased a very expensive way to drink Francis Ford Coppola–label wine and eat cookies and prawn crackers.
But at the event itself, there were two distinct Oscars ceremonies going on. The first was the ceremony happening onstage, the audience in their seats, the telecast you watched at home. Everything was just so pure. People believed in the nominees, they gave a standing ovation to nearly everything, and they sang along intently to “Shallow,” gasping softly when Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper got so close to kissing.
Wasn’t it nice to see Spike Lee remind everyone to “do the right thing”? Except, you know, they definitely won’t. won for Best Original Score, the man she was with muttered, “Now Kendrick Lamar will be sorry he didn’t come,” as if Kendrick Lamar doesn’t have a Pulitzer Prize he could spend his time with instead. I had no idea who most of these people were, but they were definitively white and obsessed with.
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