‘I do, but don’t tell anybody’: Why Gen Z are keeping their marriages secret

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‘I do, but don’t tell anybody’: Why Gen Z are keeping their marriages secret
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Marriage rates in young people have never been lower. But even those who are getting engaged or tying the knot are choosing to keep their news private.

There was a time when an engagement was something to be loud about. Parents would host drinks and parties, a notice would be submitted to the paper and the happy couple would be the toast of every gathering until the big day arrived. But of late, the age-old tradition to shout about upcoming nuptials has lessened to a whisper.

A decade ago, seven in 10 of stationer Nicky Espinasse’s wedding orders began with a “save the date” letter. At first an American thing, these were quickly popularised by Australian and British couples who were “excited to let everyone know they were engaged as soon as possible”. But in the past two years, interest in them has declined dramatically, and now just three in 10 of Nicky’s clients send them out at all.

Zoe is alert to how her peers might take the news that she has decided to settle down in her mid-20s. “I wouldn’t want to give an impression of being boring,” she says. “I feel like the vibe of being married isn’t what I’d want acquaintances to think my life is. I wouldn’t want to call myself someone’s wife because of how many negative things seem to follow when I hear that word out and about.

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