Pangs of sadness are normal when we start down one life path, writes advice columnist Eleanor Gordon-Smith. Are you dissatisfied with your choice, or with having to choose?
Should I pack it all in and move or just let my life roll out into babies and houses? Can you live with both ideas concurrently? How long should I sit with boredom before doing something new?On the well-lit stage of imagination, there’s always the version of your life where you’ve made slightly different choices: a bit more glamorous, a bit more exciting, a bit more fulfilling.
It’s especially easy to feel the allure of the could-have-been at your stage of life. This is a point of transition between a period in which possibilities feel endless and open, to a time when we make choices that exclude some of them. The trick is figuring out which kind of dissatisfaction you’re experiencing. Is it an actual, bonafide, rap-your-knuckles-on-it preference for things to be different? If so, that’s worth listening to.
But one thing to keep in mind is that you don’t have to make every choice at once. The categories presented to us culturally – “kids and house” versus “travel and freedom” – aren’t as starkly opposed as they seem. You can have a family without living in suburbia, you can be creatively stimulated without life being tumultuous. Your options aren’t polarised between Bohemia and Stepford.
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