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A woman recounts meeting a Polish coder in Thailand who wanted a traditional wife, and reflects on rising misogyny, Andrew Tate's influence, and why she is exhausted by gender role debates.
A woman has described an exhausting encounter with a 24-year-old Polish man who told her he wanted a traditional wife while they were both staying at the same accommodation in Thailand.
The man, a remote coder, said he was saving as much money as he could so he could one day fully support a family. He explained that if he invested his money well and did not spend it, he could afford for his wife to stay at home. Mosquitoes bit her legs as she stood listening to him politely explain his views. She replied that she would hate relying on someone financially.
He stared awkwardly at her and said he disagreed because, as a man, he felt that was an imperative role. He said resolutely that he wanted his wife to stay at home and look after the family. They stood there quietly for a bit. Despite clearly having things in common, she could not think of anything else to say, and by then her legs were covered in bites.
Thailand Trip And Manosphere Anxiety
She went back to her hut and they did not speak again for the rest of the trip. She said maybe their difference of opinion was cultural. But in such a globalised society, where manosphere vitriol lands indiscriminately in the algorithms of Australians of all ages, she felt as though he was speaking a language she unfortunately recognised. She recalled when women raised the alarm about Andrew Tate, the self-proclaimed misogynist, as he began gaining attention in 2022.
She also remembered thinking his short-lived prominence represented a small group of men, without considering with whom the message was silently resonating. Meeting young men while backpacking has been an interesting experience, she wrote. She has found it best to avoid talking about politics of all forms, including immigration, gender roles and various wars, and to focus strictly on day-to-day activities after too many revealed themselves to be racist or misogynistic.
She always returned home thinking young Australian men were not as extreme. These days, she finds herself avoiding these topics in conversation with men her age as headlines of alleged schoolyard and sporting sexual assaults tell her it is not safe here, either. Perhaps young men across the world saw Donald Trump become US president, despite boasting about grabbing women by their genitals, as a green light to speak of and view women as such, she wrote.
Australian Sports Players And Misogyny
Trump continues to insult female journalists based on their looks, telling a Bloomberg reporter to be quiet, quiet, piggy. The alleged inappropriate sexual behaviour of a crew of Sydney Swans players made a media storm and brought into conversation, again, the attitudes young men have towards women. These behaviours riddle other codes, too. Penrith Panthers player Brian To'o was caught allegedly making lewd remarks about teammates' girlfriends on pictures he uploaded to his own Instagram story.
To'o allegedly commented on one photo of skipper Nathan Cleary, The Fowler Slayer, about Matildas sensation and Manchester City player Mary Fowler. As a young woman who has to navigate this world each day, reading it in the news, skirting around its edges while backpacking or having to screen it on dating apps, she is exhausted. She feels jaded.
She wonders if she is part of the growing percentage of women choosing not to have babies if these are the fathers. The worst part, she wrote, is that she feels she is becoming numb to misogyny, a combination of being exposed to it more often and trying to avoid being upset by it. She is shown time and time again that hardly anything comes from the relentless headlines of the alleged rapes, killings and harassment of women.
It is devastating when she sees that. When she talks about misogyny with young men, a few who hold manospheric views and most who do not, she more frequently watches the topic glide over them with the same avoidance she is beginning to acquire. They are tired, too. Maybe for the same reasons as her, maybe not.
Dating App Red Flags Today
Her colleague jokes that when she was a young woman, a red flag in young men was if they could not spell or if their favourite movie was something questionable. Now, it is if young men are looking for a wifey or missus in their Hinge profile. Before a date, she always checks who the man follows on social media in case it is right-wing provocateurs or hundreds of Instagram models.
The Polish man who wants a trad wife stayed in a hut next to hers. Before the topic of gender roles came up, they shared their anxieties about living in a world overrun by technology, feeling helpless as the world burns around them and experiencing a sense of existential dread because AI has made them feel as though their contributions to society are meaningless. Yet, somehow, they were still worlds apart.
brisbanetimes 
smh:I had to explain to a 24-year-old man why I didn’t want to be a trad wife. It’s exhaustingThis story was compiled and edited by the HeadTopics newsroom and HT AI from the reports above.
Misogyny Andrew Tate Gender Roles Backpacking
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