'Someday, I’ll be okay with it. I’ll stop hating myself for the parent I’m not, and embrace myself for the parent I am — imperfections and all.'
about how amazing it is on Facebook. Meanwhile, I’m trying to use the bathroom and shower for the first time in ten days and now, in addition to having to clean my greasy hair, I also have to wash away the guilt of having plugged them into their tablets so I have more than sixty seconds to do it all.
Those moms who go on hikes, who take the fresh air and teach their kids to cast a fishing rod, to keep balanced in a canoe, the proper way to throw a baseball, to sink a three-pointer, I hate them too—their athleticism, their contentment, their unwavering avowal that children are sugar and spice and everything nice.
You know who I love? I love those moms who feed their kids cereal for dinner. Who come home at night to kitchen counters smeared with peanut butter, to breakfast dishes sitting in the sink, to the youngest kid having been locked in the closet by their older sibling. Those moms who step in dog poop as they walk through the living room. Those moms with kids who still pee the bed at seven and ignore curfew at seventeen. Those moms with weak pelvic floors, who leak when they laugh or sneeze.
We didn’t eat fruits or vegetables or nuts. Or we did, but only a little, and only because my son decided he was a plant-eating dinosaur—he refuses to say “herbivore”—and went into the refrigerator and knocked over the milk and dropped the leftovers on the floor so he could reach the box of salad, which he snacked on and dropped between the couch cushions and on the floor. Later, he had a green poop, which I know because he forgot to flush the toilet, again.
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