I love my daughter and my stepdaughter. How do we make our will fair to both of them? | Leading questions

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I love my daughter and my stepdaughter. How do we make our will fair to both of them? | Leading questions
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Like kayaks and Ikea, wills can turn functional families into bickering messes, writes advice columnist Eleanor Gordon-Smith. You’re right to proceed with care

I am happily married to my wife of five years and have a stepdaughter and a daughter. I love both of them and am a little confused about our will. My stepdaughter has her dad, and he has no other children. How do we distribute our assets fairly between our daughters? Is there a fair proportion? Does my daughter receive all my assets prior to my marriage?

I can’t advise you on the material decision – a solicitor with experience preparing wills will be able to tell you what sorts of arrangements people use in blended families.Part of the reason estate planning curdles families so quickly is that people use it to exercise the feelings they weren’t able to express when their loved one was alive. That might be a grievance, or a sense of being neglected – or it might just be the feeling of helplessness that comes after someone we love has died.

One is to avoid surprise. Whatever you decide, it might be good to clue your daughters in now, so there’s no risk of a moment where the will is read and everybody gasps. That way any sense of unfairness can be talked through before it is wrapped up with grief and shock.

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