It sounds like you will have to be explicit at setting boundaries
‘The person you really need to be kind to is not someone who seems intent on ignoring your wishes, but to yourself.’‘The person you really need to be kind to is not someone who seems intent on ignoring your wishes, but to yourself.’Last modified on Sun 5 Jun 2022 08.38 BSTage of 80 it seems a bit strange for me to ask for help in dealing with the expectations of an elderly admirer.
more about his habits and how needy he was. I found I was expected to be, at all times, available for messages and telephone calls, as well as chauffeur him about and to help run his life. He said he’d fallen in love with me and wanted to spend what was left of his time on earth with me. But was I in love with him? The answer was no. I could not cope with his emotional needs and the physical side of things was most unsatisfactory.
The culture of the 1940s and 50s expected women to be smiling, acquiescent and obliging and I expect this was the soil from which you grew. I’m guessing, despite this, you managed to carve out a great career and equal relationships and are loved and respected. On top of coming from this 50s culture, you are probably naturally kind, empathic and thoughtful, and this modus operandi may have served you well until this persistent gentleman arrived on the scene.
I think putting down this line in the sand may be difficult for you because, after 80 years, you have plenty of conditioning to overcome, so it’s so much harder for you just to say, “Fuck off” than it would be for me, born 20 years after you. The generations after us can be even better at putting down boundaries and sticking to them. I don’t expect you ever got permission growing up to be anything other than obliging.
Australia Latest News, Australia Headlines
Similar News:You can also read news stories similar to this one that we have collected from other news sources.
I’m 80, and a needy widower won’t take no for an answerIt sounds like you will have to be explicit at setting boundaries
Read more »
I’m 80, and a needy widower won’t take no for an answerIt sounds like you will have to be explicit at setting boundaries
Read more »
Subscribe to the Herald - The Sydney Morning HeraldSubscribe for the answers that matter from only $1.95 per week.
Read more »
Woolies and Big W to phase out reusable plastic shopping bagsThe supermarket giant says 80 per cent of its customers are already bringing their own bags when doing their groceries, but acknowledges the change 'may be an adjustment'.
Read more »
Gas trigger not short-term solution: BowenEnergy Minister Bowenchris says the energy regulator has allowed for more gas to be released to the south eastern states, but the crisis is far from over. auspol 7NEWS
Read more »
'They'll be taking a close look': ACCC tipped to step up energy policing as price crisis takes holdA leading Australian energy lawyer says big power providers are facing increased scrutiny from the competition watchdog amid concerns a shake-out of the industry could lead to price gouging.
Read more »