'I was a mess. I was just shaking and crying and couldn’t breathe. Nobody could calm me down.'
"I remember posting [a statement] on Instagram then just crying and crying until I had no tears left. Nobody really understood how much it broke me. I’m still broken."Paul Harris
"We got them [ASADA] on the phone and they said those dreadful words: my sample had come back with a prohibited substance. My mind just shut off. It’s every athlete’s worst nightmare. I thought they had got it wrong; I’m not a cheat, I didn’t do this. I just thought they had made a mistake. So that’s what I told them."
Anti-doping protocols are rigorous by design and Jack had no choice but to leave the team almost immediately. Too distraught to face her friends and teammates, she requested that Verhaeren address them that night and say she had gone home due to a personal matter.Later, reports suggested she wanted to go public with the news right away but Jack insists that wasn’t the case.
"I watched it. I respect what Mack did. He stood up for clean sport and I’ll always stand up for clean sport. He didn’t mean anything else by it. I didn’t even connect the two things. I never thought that would be a massive thing everyone focused on." At that meeting, in which Jack had plenty to say to ASADA officials, she was given an estimate of six to nine months for a hearing. On one occasion since, she was even tested again despite being banned from the pool.Nearing Christmas, that picture is no clearer and while she continues to train around her job, her slim grip on a Tokyo dream is beginning to weaken.
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