Dear Care and Feeding: What kinds of traditions are most impactful for kids?
I can’t speak for every kid, but I certainly cared a lot about holiday traditions, and so do my children. Some of my favorite memories revolve around the things I did with my parents during Christmas , and I hope my children feel the same way when they become adults.
My main advice is to avoid traditions that are centered around gift-giving. Yes, I know Santa Claus is a big thing around this time of year, and I certainly played the game with my kiddos. However, I made sure that Santa only provided one small gift to my kids, while the others came from me. You do not need to do much to make the holidays special for your kids. Choose to create some traditions that fit well with your values.
The main thing you should do is reassure your daughters that your MIL will not be around them going forward, because that should relieve a significant amount of discomfort they’re feeling.I’m writing to ask about something that recently happened with my almost 2-year-old daughter. My husband, our daughter, and I are white and live in a mid-sized Canadian city. My husband and I both want to raise anti-racist children, but I’m not sure if we’re doing enough.
I know this is one small incident and it’s possible it doesn’t mean what I think it means, and I’m not trying to blow it out of proportion. I just don’t want to miss a sign that we need to do more.
Although I know it didn’t feel good to hear your daughter say that about the man in a turban, I can assure you that she’s not racist. Sometimes we have to put things in perspective—you can’t expect your daughter at this age to understand the nuances of racial prejudice. However, kids as young as your daughter are aware of differences, and it could be chalked up to something as simple as not liking this particular man’s turban. Maybe she doesn’t care for headwear of any kind.
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