Society expects women to be shorter than their partners. Why, though?
A month before my wedding, one of my closest friends confided in me that she didn’t think I should marry my fiancé. “What would you do in an emergency, like if there was a fire?” she asked, sounding legitimately concerned for my safety. So far in my adult life, I only know one person who is married to an actual firefighter.
A light Googling and quick turn through Reddit will let you know that a height difference among partners is not uncommon or revolutionary; the majority of people do not care, are not paying attention to you, and aren’t completely unmoored by it.
Heteronormativity has certainly broken everyone’s brains and provided us with bizarre frameworks that seem to result in failure more often than not. We are to understand that there are men, and there are women; men are big, and women are small; the former is supposed to save the latter from fire. If a pairing violates this rule, you must scream at them on the New York City Q train at 8:00 am and demand that they explain the mechanics of their sex life to you.
My husband and I have encountered the “family values” folks as well. I think fondly of a woman, seemingly about my age, who spent a not insignificant amount of time watching my now husband and I make out at a bar. We were doing this because we were in our 20’s, we were in grad school, and we were very into each other and very gross. People stare at other people – that’s not the weird part.
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