When a bloke tells me he’s “separated”, I tend to view this in the same way I would a Kardashian claiming not to have had cosmetic surgery, writes Kathy Lette. | OPINION
Suddenly everything made sense. His preference for dining in little “out of the way” places – all the way out in Cabramatta, or preferably Coober Pedy. The way his feelings for me seemed to fade in and out like a wartime broadcast, forcing me to huddle, twiddling dials, desperately trying to pick up his signal: “.” An emotional camel, I was able to survive on a single kind word for weeks.
But on that fateful day on the Bondi promenade, I realised that I hadn’t been having a “relationship”, just a series of one-night stands with the same person. Clocking my presence, his face froze into a rictus of guilty horror. So, did I use his testicles as maracas? No. I walked on by. How could I ruin his wife’s life?
“If you’re so lonely that you’ve taken to sexually harassing yourself, chances are you’re married to a two-timing rat.
So, what are your choices? Your husband may want to keep seeing you and his mistress. I would simply point out that if you run two or three simultaneous relationships, you stop being an adulterer and can officially qualify as a sheikh or Mormon. Alternatively, a philanderer may beg you to take him back. I just hope Hillary Clinton, Pink, Beyoncé, Fergie , Tori SpellingOr you might opt for revenge sex, a toy boy being more rejuvenating than a face cream. But I suspect that when the right man comes along, most women have the strength of character to say, “No, thank you. I’m already married.”
Australia Latest News, Australia Headlines
Similar News:You can also read news stories similar to this one that we have collected from other news sources.
Sir Clive Cowdery warns sharemarkets shouldn’t ‘die out accidentally’The global life insurance entrepreneur and philanthropist is worried about the trend of major ASX listed companies being taken private.
Read more »
Sir Clive Cowdery warns sharemarkets shouldn’t ‘die out accidentally’Global life insurance entrepreneur and philanthropist, Sir Clive Cowdrey, is worried about the trend of major ASX listed companies being taken private.
Read more »
Blind date: ‘I spied her hiding at the bar, getting a pep talk from the host’Jo, 35, junior buyer, meets Joel, 30, head barista
Read more »
Blind date: ‘I spied her hiding at the bar, getting a pep talk from the host’Jo, 35, junior buyer, meets Joel, 30, head barista
Read more »