Dear How to Do It: I am technically having thoughts about a 16-year-old as a person in their 30s...
My wife and I , both 43, have been together since high school and married for 15 years. We are the only sexual partner each other has ever had. Some years back, I realized that I had a fantasy developing of her getting with another man.
For a while, I felt ashamed of this and because of this, I kept it to myself. Then upon doing some research I realized this is not uncommon at all! A few years ago, after a couple of cocktails, I shared this fantasy with my wife. To my surprise, not only did she not judge me over it, the idea excited her too! She confided in me that she has long had a fantasy about being with other men, and/or multiple men.
It’s a risk, but if you attempt this you must tread lightly with something like, “I know you’ve said you don’t actually plan on going through with this, but I’d really like to make it happen if you’re interested.” And that’s it. Any further resistance from her must be respected if you are to maintain a peaceful relationship.
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