'People laughed when I bullied. They laughed really hard, and it would make me feel good for the few seconds they were laughing with me, so I continued the cycle of crude jokes and teasing of others.'
. Because October is National Bullying Prevention Month, we're highlighting the various aspects of bullying, from what it feels like to go through it to why people bully others. In this op-ed, Erin Zea, who appeared on the TV showexplains how being bullied prompted her to stop bullying others and advocate against it.
I remember being in seventh grade like it was yesterday. Walking down the hallway amid girls who seemed perfect and totally put together, boys who seemed totally inline with who they wanted to be. Then there was me: Uncomfortable, shy, awkward. I wasn’t particularly good at anything, at least I didn’t feel like I was, and I definitely wasn’t confident in myself. I didn’t know who I wanted to be or what group I wanted to be part of, but what Iknow is I wanted people to notice me and like me.
Looking back at my treatment of this particular girl, I can see clearly that I bullied her out of my own insecurity. I admired her for how she carried herself, never once turning hateful and mean words back on me. Instead of treating her with the respect I actually held for her, I mirrored the prejudgement others had of her, and made fun of her to gain their respect.
In high school I felt even more uncomfortable, shy, and awkward, so the jokes continued. The name calling and teasing became more direct, more daring, and I was more willing to do what others encouraged me to. Weon other people’s inhibitions, which made me forget about mine. This time I had people around me that not only laughed about it with me, they encouraged the bullying again, and again, and would join in. In these years, one particular boy was my target.
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