Even at such a young age, I knew what had happened was not okay, but I didn't tell anyone.
After the birth of my child, I remained sober for five years. I drank the odd beer on holidays, but did not take any recreational drugs whatsoever. I did a little bit of therapy and doctors put me on lorazepam and Xanax. I wouldn't say I was fully addicted to those medications, but eventually I was saying no to the therapy and yes to the drugs
So, the day the bars opened up again, I was there. I couldn't endure being at home, so I would go to the bar alone. At first, it was just an hour or two, but it got to the point where I was drinking until 2am, when the bar closed. My drug use quickly got out of hand again. I was overdosing all the time and was in the emergency room, on average, every other week; sometimes twice a week. They knew me by name.
The next day, he'd arranged a flight for me to a detox center in California. I was incredibly scared, and still had that addiction mindset, so I missed the first flight. But he kept encouraging me and arranged another flight for me the following day, which I took.Rehab was really hard. I met some great people, but I really had to change my way of thinking. For my entire life, I had tried to dismiss other people's opinions, because I always felt like my own never mattered to anyone else.
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