'Ten days after Anya was born, I was rushed to a psychiatric hospital'.
I was discharged home a month later as the psychosis had gone but I felt detached and incompetent, often looking at my baby on her playmat and wondering what I was supposed to do. I sank into a dark depression and had to be readmitted to hospital after attempting to take my own life.
Guilt over the impact of my mental health on my daughters consumed me, but we worked hard to make visits every three or four days meaningful – I would bake something or make artwork or jewellery to give to the girls, and I held and cuddled them even when my heart felt empty.The toll on my husband was immense as he struggled to arrange visits while keeping the routines of school and baby groups going.
In an MBU a mum’s partner and other children are usually able to visit freely so that time together can feel as normal as possible – playing in a lounge together or having storytime on mummy’s bed. In 2019 Jasmine Lodge – a beautiful bespoke, 8-bed Mother and Baby Unit opened in Exeter just 20 minutes from where I live. I was involved throughout the build, supporting a group of parents to consult on the facilities and design.
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