I was young and so ambitious it made me sick. I’m not alone

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I was young and so ambitious it made me sick. I’m not alone
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The pandemic has fundamentally altered the way I work and, more importantly, my belief that I can find meaning and fulfilment through work at all.

I used to care so much about work it made me sick. I used to have detailed plans, laid out in spreadsheets – meticulously maintained documents tracking grant applications, journal submissions. And I had headaches. Ones so bad that my partner would seal me in our bedroom with the lights off until the numbness in my face receded, the result of debilitating pain that was occurring so regularly I had my head CT’ed.

Maybe I’m burnt-out, the fight gone out of me. If I am, I’m only one of many young, professional women who, during the pandemic, took on a heightened workload; experienced intensified caring responsibilities; and/or had their personal relationships come under pressure borne of new financial stressors, unequal distribution of domestic labour, and either distance or excessive proximity.

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