Avo-go at the Shepard avocado.
It’s humid outside, you really wish it was the weekend, and you’ve got a sad desk salad for lunch because it’s end of month and you’re hanging onto your New Year’s resolution to eat clean and green by the thread of a zucchini noodle masquerading as spaghetti.
But today, this “ordinary” February day, is a good day, and let me tell you why: Shepard avocado season is back, baby. Before you begin wailing in despair, I’ll acknowledge the elephant in the room: I am painfully aware Hass avocados are the reigning favourite. If avocado breeds were a fairytale, Hass would be Cinderella and Shepards would be the ugly stepsister.And why? Because Hass avocados are reliable, you say. They change colour and texture to alert you when they’re ready to be slathered across your gluten-free toast.Too ripe, and you can mush them up with some lime juice until they resemble baby food and call it guacamole.But you’re wrong.Married At First SightAnd YES, as a result of this pretend plastic coating, it’s hard to discern whether or not they’re ripe until you slice them open and take a nibble of the flesh.There’s nothing worse than spending $4.50 on a single piece of fruit only to find it tastes like soap. Even more distressing, sometimes they simply never ripen and you’re forced to claw them open like a derangedNeed I remind you, though: life’s about living on the edge! And in buying a Shepard avocado, the odds of opening up its hard, flawless complexion to reveal a fleshy, tender soul – not unlike the bad boy older brother in an 80s rom-com – are EQUAL to accidentally jumping the gun and trying to force the fruit open, only for it to leave a very bad taste in your mouth.And while they may be flawed, Shepard avocados have the one thing Hass avocados don’t: structural integrity. If you plonk one unceremoniously in your work bag, only for a middle-aged plumber to sit on your belongings on the bus; or the checkout boy at Coles crushes your avos with 12 kilos of mince and a jar of bolognese sauce, it doesn’t matter.let you down or change their form. They willWhat’s more – I don’t want to mush up my avo on my toast. It makes me feel geriatric. With a Shepard avocado, you can slice it into orderly segments and arrange them on your carbohydrate of choice without feeling like you’re incapable of chewing your food.A wise friend once said that going for the Shepard avocado over the Hass is like swiping right on the Tinder boy with brooding eyes and artistic ambitions who would cause your mother to disown you if you ever brought him home.As Eurovision Song Competition-winning band ABBA once sang, “Take a chance on me”. And by “me”, Bjorn, Benny, Anni-Frid and Agnetha were obviously singing about Shepard avocados. If I’m going to ruin my chances of ever entering the housing market for an avocado, it’s going to be for the Shepard variety.
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