CHICAGO—Evaluating a number of available treatment options for chronic insomnia, sleep experts at Rush University released a report Monday touting a unanimous recommendation to just give up and scroll The Onion’s website until daybreak. “After extensively reviewing studies on the best ways to alleviate insomnia, or…
a number of available treatment options for chronic insomnia, sleep experts at Rush University released a report Monday touting a unanimous recommendation to just give up and scroll’s website until daybreak.
it’s going to be much better to do something productive than just lie there staring at the ceiling, frustrated by your sleeplessness. In fact, our findings suggest that knowledge is far more important to the human psyche than rest, and we found hard evidence that there is no better place to acquire it than on’s various social media pages. So there’s likely no point in closing your eyes at all anymore.” Dr.
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