'Is my baby still alive?': How the heartbreak of miscarriage can haunt future pregnancies ⬇️ Big Read from AasmaDay
in case something happened and my baby died. I couldn’t relax and felt as soon as I let my guard down, I’d jinx things.”
Emma recalls the first few weeks as a new mum were very overwhelming. She felt continually anxious and convinced herself her daughter had an obscure medical problem. “I just couldn’t believe she was here and OK, but I was so grateful to have her. “When you tell people you’re pregnant again after miscarriages, their automatic reaction is to congratulate you, even though that’s not how you feel inside.
When Gillian Macdonald and her husband Paul discovered they were expecting a baby for the first time, they were elated and shared their news with a few family members. The devastated couple were given the option of having either an injection to dissolve the pregnancy or surgery to remove the fallopian tube. “I decided to have the injection and was told if I got shoulder pain, to let them know,” says Gillian.
Gillian Macdonald suffered a miscarriage and an ectopic pregnancy before having her daughter Ailith. Gillian was finally diagnosed with PTSD and postnatal depression when her daughter was four and says the trauma of the miscarriages made her worry something was going to happen to her daughter so she wouldn’t let herself enjoy her Gillian while she was pregnant
Gillian had consultant-led care and ended up being induced early at 37 weeks because she just couldn’t cope. Her daughter Ailith arrived in December 2016 and Gillian remembers feeling a huge sense of relief, but not “the overwhelming love that people talk about.” “I kept having flashbacks to the ectopic pregnancy and the surgery. I saw a clinical psychologist who helped me process everything.”
“You never get over miscarriages and and it is proper grief. When someone loses their husband, they’re called a widow, but if your child or baby dies while you’re pregnant, there’s no name for it.
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