It isn’t always easy, and desired outcomes are not guaranteed. Readers tell us what happened when they sought professional help as a couple
‘It takes a lot of work, but it’s been worth it.’ Readers reveal why they undertook couples therapy – and what it uncovered.‘It takes a lot of work, but it’s been worth it.’ Readers reveal why they undertook couples therapy – and what it uncovered.It takes a village to raise a child, as the saying goes, but when it comes to our romantic relationships, some see reaching out for support as an admission of failure.
For others the act of prioritising the relationship and actively investing in it was as important as the therapist’s advice.Whether the therapy was early on or after decades together, preemptive or the result of a major relationship crisis, readers say the key to getting the most out of it is approaching the endeavour in good faith – and as a team.After 17 years together my husband convinced me to try counselling when I told him I wanted to separate.
A good counsellor can give people space to discuss difficult things or see things differently, but only if it is approached in good faith. My husband had no intention of making it work. We ended up separating, and my current therapist helps me to see that he won’t change, and to prioritise myself.We decided to try doing therapy together early on in our relationship because things between us were great and we felt excited and serious about each other.
Initially I was put in the hot seat and made to listen to all the things I’d done wrong. When it was my turn, my partner just walked out, saying there was absolutely nothing wrong with her, never had been, and that I was just reluctant to “come around”.
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