This article humorously analyzes Manchester United's recent struggles, suggesting their downfall resembles a meticulously crafted satire.
Unbending coach takes his side to Liverpool on Sunday, with attempts to kick club on undermined by a decade of misrule he thought had always been that it couldn’t happen now. It’s just not possible in modern football that a super-club could be relegated. Manchester United may have gone down in 1974 but it’s not going to happen in 2025. Even when Ruben Amorim said that And it’s not going to happen now. United will not be relegated.
They probably only need 15 points from the second half of the season to be safe and the financial structure of modern football means there are at least three sides worse than them. Yet it’s significant that Amorim could mention relegation without it sounding entirely absurd, revealing that it feels worth doing the calculation, working out what sort of tally might be necessary for United to survive. What has happened at United since Sir Alex Ferguson left feels like thought experiment made flesh: what would it take for the most successful side in English history to go down?You couldn’t do it quickly. Impatience would have provoked outrage that would have scuppered the project of decline. You’d need a carefully managed process of drift, to allow five wildly different mangers to put together a squad of profound incoherence. You’d have to waste astonishing sums of money on ageing players, players who were never good enough and players whose potential you have extravagantly overestimated, ensuring that profitability and sustainability (PSR) compliance meansby contriving a situation in which there is suddenly an entire politburo of them, adding a whole new layer of intrigue and confusion. The final stroke of genius would be to appoint a confident ideologue,United have become the club they would have been if Mel Brooks had written a dark satire about them – with the bonus of aAmorim is the fall guy in all this. It’s not his faul
MANCHESTER UNITED FOOTBALL DEREGULATION Satire COACHING
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