+34
After ten years of marriage, Margot Robbie has changed her surname to that of her husband, Tom Ackerley, prompting renewed discussion about the expectation that women who marry men should take their husband's name.
After a decade of marriage, Margot Robbie has changed her surname to that of her husband, Tom Ackerley. The change was revealed last week and has caused a stir, though we do not know why she made the decision in her public life.
Marriage, Surnames and Women's Choice
The news prompted the usual discourse of tradition, patriarchy and women's individual choice. Robbie is not alone in doing this. The statistics are hard to pin down, but it is safe to say that in the overwhelming majority of straight marriages, the woman changes her name to the man's. This pattern appears across every part of social life, from friends back home who married directly out of high school to a cabal of highly educated urban feminist friends.
One small act of resistance is to put all married male friends in a phone under their wives' surnames. Being a lesbian in a heretofore heteronormative society means having to go along with lots of things that do not make sense to your beautiful lesbian brain. One such thing is the ongoing expectation that women who marry men should change their surname to their husband's.
There is no personal sense of the societal pressure and systems that inform such decisions, which is why a table is not flipped every time it happens. But it does matter when it is the default decision with no discussion. There are plenty of reasons a woman might want to change her name. She might hate her dad.
She might feel no attachment to her name. Her husband might have a meaningful attachment to his and so she might just think it is a nice thing to do. This is not an unreasonable position. The issue is not with women taking their man's surname.
Choosing a Surname Without Coercion
The problem comes when there is no choosing, when it is a foregone conclusion, when it has not been actively decided. That is your name. If there is discussion, if there is equal respect for both people, if someone has a reason, then that is fine. One colleague's future husband told her it was a dealbreaker if she did not take his name.
That is not a reason. That should have been the dealbreaker itself. When it comes to which surname a baby gets, that is when irritation really sets in. If we really have stopped considering a man's wife and children his property, why on earth is giving them his name still the default?
Women carry and birth the babies. Women are still far more likely to do the lion's share of childcare. The lesbian mind boggles. But never fear, because there is a solution, and it may be surprising that it does not involve any gender politics whatsoever.
Cooler Surnames and Shared Naming
The solution is to throw tradition out the window and, if a couple wants to share a name, make the decision based on which surname is cooler. Which surname sounds better and which surname will offer more success is the one both should use. In an ideal world, this would be done in a courtroom setting, where each couple comes in and sees me sitting high above them like Judge Judy, ready to bang my gavel.
Congratulations, Mr Brown, you are now Mr Beaumont. Sorry, Mrs Jones, you are now Mrs Wilder. Mr Cheeseman, I release you from your prison. No longer would awesome surnames be swallowed by the crap oesophagus of patriarchy.
No longer would it be considered weak or weird for a man to take his wife's last name. Instead it would be cool and wise. Even though my loyalty always lies with women, I am willing to maintain neutrality in the courtroom. And sorry, Mr Ackerley, which sounds a bit like a cat throwing up, you are now Mr Robbie.
Tom Ackerley Surname Change Marriage Naming Tradition Patriarchy
Australia Latest News, Australia Headlines
Similar News: You can also read news stories similar to this one that we have collected from other news sources.
Weekly Cinema Review Highlights Films Starring Tom Cruise and Dakota JohnsonThis weekly cinema roundup features reviews of new releases, including a bombastic satire directed by Alejandro González Iñarritu where Tom Cruise portrays a Texan oil tycoon, a psychological thriller titled Verity starring Anne Hathaway and Dakota Johnson, and a narrative about a brilliant but misunderstood architect.
Read more »
Tom Cruise Plays Texan Oil Tycoon in New Inarritu Satire Among Weekly ReleasesTom Cruise stars as a swaggering Texan oil tycoon in Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu's bombastic satire, alongside a Colleen Hoover thriller adaptation and a French film about the Great Arch.
Read more »
Tom Hiddleston stars in Tenzing as Apple TV film heads to TorontoTom Hiddleston plays Edmund Hillary in Tenzing, Jennifer Peedom's Apple TV film about the 1953 Everest ascent, with Genden Phuntsok as Tenzing Norgay.
Read more »