“Marry Me” starring Jennifer Lopez and Owen Wilson asks that age-old question: Do you, viewer, take this romantic comedy to be your next cinematic diversion, to have and to hold from this day forward, or at least for the next two hours?
Decked out in an eye-catching and impressively fun wardrobe, Lopez is Kat, a pop star who is about to marry hera blatantly self-promotey choice — nuptials as business write-off, anyone? — is just the first of the movie’s many emotionally disingenuous beats. Moments before she’s set to make her bridal entrance, the bad news comes in a flash on everyone’s phones —, this movie is obsessed with social media — and it’s a video showing her fiancé cheating with her assistant.
And then she spots a random guy in the audience — a junior high school math teacher and divorced dad named Charlie, played by Wilson, who is so low-key as to be no key — holding a sign with the name of her current hit: “Marry Me.” She takes that as her cue and impulsively weds this nobody on the spot and rom-comery ensues. In theory, at least.
Rom-coms require an internal machinery and most tend to follow certain basic rhythms because those rhythms work so well. Unless you’re willing to upend that with some compellingly inventive alternatives — and to be clear, that’s not what is happening here amid the “Notting Hill” of it all — the end result is going to be as lifeless as the hairpiece Kat casually removes from her head one night as she and Charlie kinda sorta get to know one another.
There are a lot of narrative shortcuts employed here — if I never see a montage of news reporting to set up a scene again it will be a happy day — and the actors themselves are forever shoved into chaotic Instagram Live feeds that crowd the screen, perhaps to distract audiences from the fact that the movie looks so conspicuously underpopulated.
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