Your Inner Rebel needs some attention, says Philippa Perry. Learn to listen to it and strike a bargain with your willpower
I like studying medicine because I want to help people, touch their lives and make a change. I believe that being a doctor gives you lots of opportunities to be a useful member of society. Medicine is at the top of my list of things I find important in life, because it’s going to be my profession. It is a big deal as you affect people’s lives in a big way. But I feel a distance coming between me and medicine, which I don’t understand as I find it so important.
Everything feels too important and I can’t enjoy it when it’s all so serious, when it feels like a life-or-death situation. Is there a way to see medicine as less important, less serious, less risky, less heavy? Something fun/pleasant/enjoyable?It sounds as if you have a Willpower sub-personality who wants to sit at the desk, and you also have your Inner Rebel. Willpower has the words, but Inner Rebel has the action.
You are looking at the role of doctor, but you are not merely a role. Don’t let the idea of the role, and the meanings you make around that role, obliterate you as a person. You may be playing the role of medical student and later doctor, but you are much more than a role and your patients, and indeed colleagues, don’t just want someone playing a part – they need a real person to relate to.
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