From plane tree allergies to swooping magpies, anyone who’s spent Virgo season in this city knows it can be dangerous
sprung and I went about my business as though the air wasn’t polluted with every conceivable histamine trigger just having a casual springtime walk while oxygen went into my body without a fight. Then I turned 30 and the rebellion began. Sprawling oak trees in full leaf? Deadly! Soft green lawns? Absolutely not. St Kilda Road plane trees? Good riddance.
As time went on, it became a way to be part of a community. On the first day of September I would simply tweet “HAY FEVER” and other sufferers would come from everywhere, nursing their Nasonex or Dymista , crying tears of both relief and allergic reaction. “The pollen count isDogs can get hay fever, too. They can sneeze their disgusting canine nose globules all over your clean couch. Ask me how I know.
Anyone who’s spent Virgo season in Australia knows the danger. We take our hay fever medicine and tearfully pull out a Sharpie. Ice-cream containers have become artisanal, too small to fit our adult noggins but we draw the face anyway. Tearfully. Mournfully. Websites are set up to record attacks in suburbs from Werribee to Officer. No one is safe.
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