Letter writer wants to know the best way to show appreciation to parents and in-laws.
Both my parents and my in-laws are wonderful people. They are kind and generous, and have been very supportive of my husband and me. They do a lot to help out with projects, care for their grandkid and give gifts.I know they don't do any of it to gain something from us, but I would like to be able to show more appreciation for them. Sometimes I feel like the balance of the family is skewed, and I'm not contributing to the family the way they are.
Since they have all saved and been careful with money, they are able to retire . So any gift I give them feels cheap, since if they want something, they can just get it themselves. Plus, they could probably afford better than I could. If I offer one-on-one time with their grandchild as a gift, I am basically asking for babysitting.How can I give something, or offer an experience with their grandchild, without it coming across as cheap or like I’m taking advantage?that you are overthinking this.
However, hosting family dinners, suggesting inexpensive outings or ones where you can procure tickets in advance are ways to show that you appreciate them. So is just saying so — and checking that the children write their thank-you letters. But if you really want to reward your elders, Miss Manners suggests you spare them from having to listen to your child's taste in music. She promises they will appreciate it.As someone whose goal is to provide a great experience for guests in her home, I make sure I set up, on tables and buffets, items that I’m offering for guests to eat and drink. I always have a ton of food left after get-togethers, as I never want to run out.
While you have cause to be annoyed, Miss Manners would not take it as an affront to your abilities as a host. She suggests that the next time this person comes over, you plant yourself firmly in front of the refrigerator. When he approaches, politely ask whether he needs something that is not already out. Either that, or install childproof locks.
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