How does one properly express condolences when you are told that a distant family member, who abused you and whom you loathe, has died?
“I hope he didn’t suffer.” That wouldn’t be sincere; I kinda hope he did, a little. “Is there anything I can do?” Nope, the family was complicit in their denial of the abuse. I don’t want to help them at all.
Very well: “Thank you for letting me know. I can only imagine how hard this must be for you. My condolences.” Perhaps it would compromise you too much to offer your “deepest condolences.”DEAR MISS MANNERS: My husband’s dentist called, mumbled something about a dental practice, and asked, “Mr. Jones?”
I told him later that they should really learn telephone etiquette, and he said “S’not my job.” So I took it on myself and wrote them a letter explaining what had happened, and saying I hoped it was more helpful than rude. GENTLE READER: Difficult as it is to comment on your draft letter to the dentist without being allowed to read it, Miss Manners will try.
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