Plus: My husband employs toddler rules if I fail to say please.
My response was, “No, because I’m making meatloaf.”
An unfortunate side effect of the current emphasis on “identity” is that people commonly assume that theirs is under attack, even in obviously benign situations such as this one. But while you were not insulting her gender, Miss Manners will take the opportunity to insult her manners.: My husband thinks that if I ask for something without saying “please,” it is inherently rude.
Both of us frequently ask our 3-year-old daughter to say “please” to teach her good manners, and we will refuse to give her a treat, etc. until she does. However, I find my husband’s habit very rude, especially when done in front of company. It feels like I’m being treated like a 3-year-old. Miss Manners would like to make your and your husband’s child-rearing efforts simpler by reminding you that children pay attention to what their parents do, often at the expense of what the parents tell them to do.
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