Letter writer’s asthma is triggered by a co-worker’s strong perfume.
I started a new job as a mental health technician, and one of the therapists I work with always has a cloud of perfume around her. It is so bad that every time she walks into the same room as me, her perfume triggers my asthma, and I have to leave the room.If I have a severe asthma attack, I can — and do — have seizures afterward. Thankfully, I have had my rescue inhaler on me and have used it every time. Still, these attacks leave me feeling weak and off-balance.
I would just avoid this woman, but I am supposed to update her on what I have observed with the patients. Also, I can’t avoid her, because I cannot see her: I have severely low vision, and I cannot see that she is nearby until I smell her perfume. Is there anything I can do about this? Is there a polite way to tell her that her perfume is too strong and ask her to tone it down?discussing patients, mention apologetically that more than one has told you that her perfume causes them to have allergic reactions. This will make it a question of patient care — and not of her potentially putting you in the hospital.
Miss Manners understands that this technique will not help people who do not have patients, customers or other innocent people to “target” in this way. But the basic idea is to shift the blame from the perfume to the reaction. If that means seeming to be apologetic about one’s own allergy, then that is unfair, yes — but it does solve the problem.My husband and I love to cook.
And because we are being frank, the honesty that Miss Manners intends you to practice is to explain why the invitation is coming so late — not that they will be seated next to your neighbor’s husband, who is a crashing boor.Ask Elaine: Is my dream job worth dealing with my toxic co-founder?
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