Was I wrong to go home with my girlfriend? Plus: Can I call myself a widow after my ex-husband dies?
Is it proper for a bride to request driving arrangements and hours of attendance at a wedding, and should I have made every effort to stay?The bride asked you for a favor that you were not required to grant — and did not want to. But she was, as a dear friend, entitled to an explanation and perhaps also an apology.
What would have been the harm in saying, “We really will do our best to stay the whole night, but I also have to look after Imogene — the eye surgery has been harder on her than she lets on. I know you’ll understand”?My former husband died this year, 10 years after our separation and divorce. We remained friendly as we raised our children to adulthood, and neither of us had embarked upon new relationships since we parted ways.
When asked my marital status on forms, I’m unsure of how to answer. Is one still “divorced” after the death of the ex-spouse? May I say “widowed,” although our marriage ended long ago? Just replying “single” is not always an option.Identifying as widowed is to be avoided, as it invites misplaced condolences. Most forms have no business asking about marital status, and many no longer do so. On those that still do ask, the question can often be ignored.
But while Miss Manners understands that identifying as single can expose one to unwelcome attention, it is often the simplest option.
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