Miss Manners: What can I tell a kid who wears a hat indoors?

Or is it just not important and I should say nothing?

While appreciating your efforts to teach courtesy to your pupils and your children, Miss Manners is grateful to have the opportunity to help you do so on a deeper level. Otherwise, you may get some difficult questions.

“Aha!” the brighter pupils will declare: “This shows that all these rules are arbitrary.” And they would be right. Now we complicate things even more by introducing a time and gender element. The traditional American rule was that gentlemen must remove their hats indoors. But for ladies, wearing a hat indoors — at a luncheon, for example — was proper. Morality-based rules remain valid no matter how many people disobey them, just as the prevalence of crime does not make it legal. But symbolism only works when the meaning is generally recognized.

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