After a year on prescription stimulants, I started to unravel. Would a desperate experiment with street narcotics make me see things differently?
t first being diagnosed with ADHD came as a relief. I cried in the psychiatrist’s office: maybe I wasn’t lazy after all. He
Still, the idea that I might have ADHD never came up. In the UK in the 90s, it was cast as a disorder of naughty boys who struggled at school. I was socially adept and academically successful – gifted, even. At first, Ritalin seemed to fix … everything. I had to take my pills with food, so I began eating regular meals. I even slept better
I wasn’t alone: referrals for adult ADHD assessment skyrocketed during the pandemic. Psychiatry-UK, a private company contracted by the NHS, recorded a quadrupling of referrals between 2020 and 2022 compared with the two previous years. And even before Covid, prescriptions of stimulants for ADHD had soared:he psychiatrist started me on Ritalin at first. During the early weeks, it seemed to fix … everything.
I’d tried meditation, acupuncture, running, handstands, CBT, cold showers, blue-light-blocking glasses … nothing came close to medication I felt like I’d spent my whole life trying harder. I’d tried meditation, acupuncture, time-management strategies, working offline, running, handstands, cognitive behavioural therapy, cold showers, blue-light-blocking glasses … nothing even came close to medication.till, I couldn’t deny that the side-effects were miserable. There was the dry mouth, the relentless thirst, the burning tongue. I was constantly parched, and pissing like a racehorse. Food just seemed to pass straight through me.
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