‘My boyfriend filmed us having sex without my consent - he thinks he did nothing wrong’
In Lalalaletmeexplain's hit column, readers ask for her expert advice on their own love, sex and relationship problems.
My only concern is that I have now caught him filming me without my consent during sex three times. The first time he was behind me, I looked back and caught him. I went mad and told him that I felt that it was very disrespectful that he hadn’t asked my permission. He was remorseful and promised he’d never do it again.
I feel very uncomfortable with the idea of it. I am quite self-conscious about my body, and I feel paranoid about what I must look like on film. I want to be able to satisfy him, and I don’t want to compromise on this, but I don’t know how to keep the relationship without having to give in to it.This man has been in your life for a matter of weeks and in that time, he has already violated you in an incredibly disrespectful way three times over. That is not love.
Perhaps if it had only happened that one time then we could say that he was an idiot, but he’s learnt. However, the fact that he has repeated it twice, moves this from disrespectful idiot territory to dangerous abuser territory. He understands your boundaries, he clearly knows that you have not consented, yet he has actively chosen to do something that he knows you feel very uncomfortable with.
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