Dear How to Do It: I just end up feeling out of place and uncomfortable.
I’m afraid that if I express too much discomfort I’ll be seen as judgmental or prudish. How do I approach this conversation with my partner without sounding like I am making judgments about people who do participate in and enjoy that lifestyle? I want my boundaries and comfort respected, but not to the point where he feels like he can’t discuss things with me. I don’t want this to become my new Saturday night hangout, but I don’t feel fair telling him we can’t go if that’s where his friends are.
You don’t mention whether you’re sex-repulsed to some degree outside of the context of your own sexual interactions with an emotionally bonded partner. If this is the case, you’ll need to respect your own boundaries by communicating them to your partner before he can respect them. Yes, you may be misunderstood, deemed judgmental, or viewed as prudish. There’s no way to guarantee otherwise.
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