Dear How to Do It: I seriously don’t think I can keep doing this to him.
My boyfriend and I have been together for five years and are very in love. I want to spend the rest of my life with him and hate to imagine breaking up over this—just as a preface. But recently, we’ve been struggling with some sexual incompatibility.
We’ve always had a really active and communicative sex life, but it has been teetering off recently because he wants me to be his keyholder, or the person who holds the key to his chastity device. He also prefers me to peg him rather than to do penis-in-vagina sex. I really understand that he may like to do less PIV, but I’m uncomfortable with being a keyholder. I prefer kink to be more peripheral to my sex life—more like something fun for a weekend, rather than a Tuesday night after work.
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