'I don’t want to blow up on him, but he complained almost the entire time that I wrote this letter to you (while I was trying to relax and enjoy my lunch break, no less!) and my patience is really starting to run out.'
I work in IT at a midsize company and my co-worker, with whom I share an office, does a lot of complaining. IT was understaffed at this company for a long time, and we have a huge backlog of projects, poor management, and little support from leadership. I’ve been here for nearly four years and have worked in many different departments, so I know that these are systemic issues that do not only affect IT.
What I’ve tried so far is saying things like, “Yeah it sucks, but we have to try and tolerate this for now so we’re not miserable” or “Yeah, I’ve been here a long time and have seen that issue in many different forms, but we still need to try and fix what we can.” That doesn’t mean that people should never raise problems at work! No one should be so Pollyannaish that they shut down legitimate discussion of real problems. But there’s a point where chronic complaining stops being constructive , and it sounds like your co-worker is long past that point.
Plus, if your co-worker is a decent person, he would probably want to know that he’s making you so miserable! After all, put yourself in his shoes — if you were driving a colleague out of their gourd by harping on a particular topic, wouldn’t you much rather know, even if it meant having a momentarily uncomfortable conversation? And wouldn’t you be mortified if you found out they had been aggravated for months but said...
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