When life gives you lemons—or guys with T-Rex arms—take thee to Excel.
, reward those who swipe on large numbers of people, and relegate those who only occasionally dip into it to the lower popularity ranks of mere mortals.I knew what I had to do. Spirited, optimistic attempts to match with guys who looked too good to be true were now forbidden, as was listlessly swiping on two dozen lads while the kettle was boiling before going offline for a fortnight.
Over the next few days, I ranked my Bumble conquests by appeal. Character traits, professions, habits, talents, and lifestyle choices were entered into “pros” and “cons” columns. Good spelling or acerbic humor trumped an Ivy League degree; feminist allies outmaneuvered summerhouses in France. When I had shortlisted around 20 candidates, a handful of them Jewish, I started from the top. The conversation with No.
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