Dear Care and Feeding: I really don't understand what the big deal is. I didn't do anything wrong!
If you and your wife don’t want your mother-in-law to use the honorific from your native language,feel that way, think it through. And ask your mother how she feels about it, if you want to be really thorough before you make a decision .I do want to point out, in regard to the idea of “specialness,” that in many families in which English is the language spoken at home, the grandmothers are called Grandma X and Grandma Y, or Nana X and Nana Y, without issue.
On a handful of occasions, I have been her target, something she has never acknowledged or apologized for. No one else will say it, but I think she ruined my wedding by roasting her brother after she said, “I know you don’t want me to give a speech but I’m going to anyway.” It’s worth noting that the first time I met her, she told me the worst day of her life was the day her brother was born.Their parents have always allowed this now 45-year-old woman to act and talk this way.
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