'Having fertility problems can be incredibly isolating'
You feel ashamed for being jealous of friends who seem to be able to get pregnant without even trying and your desire to become a parent is an all-encompassing obsession which takes over all aspects of your life.
After three weeks I went back for the final scan. And I was heartbroken when they said that it didn't look like there were many 'good quality' eggs and suggested we scrap this cycle and try again. But I put my foot down - we'd come this far so we might as well do the last stage and thankfully they agreed.
After a few days I got another call. Of the three decent embryos one was pretty much perfect, one was almost perfect and the third was pretty poor. The guidance is that only one embryo should be put back in the woman's womb, but in my case considering we only had two potentially viable embryos I convinced them to put the two good ones in.
All throughout my pregnancy I was a nervous wreck. My anxiety and fear that my baby wouldn't survive got so bad that I had to have weekly counselling sessions. The paranoia took over my life; I insisted on painting an upcycled nappy changing table outside and still wore a mask, I bought a doppler which I used to check the baby's heartrate constantly and I obsessed over what I ate and drank.
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