She makes thinly-veiled jabs about how different they are from the others. “Must be because they're adopted,” she winks, as if she’s making a joke.
, too; you did not mention this information in polite society, or even in front of your own family. Of course, my mother-in-law never said this aloud. She didn’t have to.— change? She had years to warm to the idea of her new grandsons before they actually came home, and I thought it might be easy for her to attach the second she saw their beautiful pudginess and twinkling eyes. But it wasn’t love at first sight; they were interlopers before they were even conceived.
“I love all my grandchildren equally,” my mother-in-law will boast. But what’s under the Christmas tree each year tells a different story. The other three grandsons routinely get winter coats, not always the same style but always the same color. They think it’s a silly tradition — but, as a, it says something about solidarity and familial connection. Most years, the three oldest score a pricey parka or down jacket.
I never thought I’d see the day, but my sons finally seem to have moved up in the rankings. But that’s mostly because all the other grandchildren have moved away. At my oldest’s high school, my mother-in-law gave him a big hug. And then she said, with sincere tears in her eyes, “I’m so glad you became part of our family.”
My husband thought the sentiment was sweet. I did not. My immediate thought was “Welp, too little too late, lady.” But, it was really “became” that raised my hackles. She could have said “I’m so glad youThat particular word choice conveyed two things: that she never stopped thinking of her grandson as “adopted,” a sort of outsider who we had been, almost conditionally, invited into our family; and that, with the passage of time, she had truly come to fully accept him, adopted or not.
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