For alisedaandrea, blowouts created the perfect opportunity to create lasting memories with her Tita. They also helped change the way she viewed herself—while restoring her grandmother's sense of self. Read the full essay featured on OprahDaily.
Like Snow White, I specified, wanting my bob to bounce and curve in at its ends.
After my first blowout with Tita, I began asking my mom for blowouts at home. I’d sit in my parents’ bathroom staring at my reflection, waiting patiently for the transformation as my mom pulled my hair up and away, rolling the round brush,as she hovered above me with her long, tight raven ringlets. In that space between the sounds of the hair dryer and smell of my searing hair, when it was just her and me, I felt safe and cared for. It was something that continued over the years.
For so long, I was unable to accept my natural hair as “perfect as is.” At some point, the internal voice had adopted the criticisms of the external voice, even in its absence. It took me a long time to realize that generationally passed-down white beauty standards were to blame, though that wasn’t the only actor; media played a huge role too.
As for Tita, blowouts had a grip on her appearance over the span of many decades. In fact, it wasn’t until she moved in with my mom and siblings after a series of devastations that I first saw her natural texture: tight ringlets similar to my mom’s. I wonder if life had conditioned her to scorn and hide her curls too. Or if our Mexican culture had simply ignored their existence.
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