ALBUQUERQUE—In a breakthrough discovery that could change the way Sun Signs live forever, the nation’s top pseudoscientists announced Friday that they had harnessed a high-energy quartz crystal capable of reversing the effects of being a Gemini. “From today onward, the Sign Of The Twins will no longer be forced to suffer while Mercury is in retrograde or while the Sun is nestled in Virgo,” said Astrology Institute professor Lisa Vincent, adding that the crystals, which were super dense and vibrated at hyper-attuned astral frequencies, were capable of eliminating all of Gemini’s dark traits, including flightiness, restlessness, and dishonesty. “Whether you are first cusp Gemini or a third decan Gemini, the stone, along with a healthy dose of alexandrite, will 100% equalize volatile energies. Within weeks of regular use, a Gemini could even live a normal life as an Aquarius.” At press time, pseudoscientists had shut down their latest study after finding that the high-powered, $6,000 stone had negative interactions with vaccines.
Australia Latest News, Australia Headlines
Similar News:You can also read news stories similar to this one that we have collected from other news sources.
How Moviegoers Can Experience 'Gemini Man', From Standard 2K to the 'Whole Shebang'And Lee's film starring Will Smith premieres Sunday with a newly-developed projection system capable of displaying 3D, 4K at a high frame rate of 120 frames per second.
Read more »
How Moviegoers Can Experience 'Gemini Man', From Standard 2K to the 'Whole Shebang'And Lee's film starring Will Smith premieres Sunday with a newly-developed projection system capable of displaying 3D, 4K at a high frame rate of 120 frames per second.
Read more »
Fashionista's 39 Favorite Shoes of Spring 2020 Fashion MonthAdorned footwear was the central theme of our top picks, from retro-inspired motifs and crystal fringe to polka-dot prints and charming cherries.
Read more »
Caroline Calloway's Next Act? Visual ArtistCaroline Calloway's Instagram art, retailing between $140-$320, is being called “plagiarism,” a “ripoff” and a “scam.” “Why not harness this outrage economy to my own benefit?” she tells clairedowns.
Read more »
Caroline Calloway's Next Act? Visual ArtistCaroline Calloway's Instagram art, retailing between $140-$320, is being called “plagiarism,” a “ripoff” and a “scam.” “Why not harness this outrage economy to my own benefit?” she tells clairedowns.
Read more »
Light brighter than the sun to virtually decipher ancient scrollsA light brighter than the sun to virtually decipher ancient scrolls dating back some 2,000 years
Read more »