This article explores the complexities of relationships, examining how individual behaviors and childhood patterns can influence interactions. It emphasizes self-awareness, communication, and the importance of balanced give-and-take.
We’ve all left a social occasion with someone feeling buoyed, or utterly deflated and angry. You can either blame yourself or the other person, but it’s often a combination of the two - or something you each bring out in the other. You can only take responsibility for your own behaviour, so look at your own responses; are you snippy? Do you answer back? Should you? It’s not that you shouldn’t retaliate, but you do need to see your place in things.
If a relationship makes you feel better about yourself, cherish it and do the same for them. If not, think about why you’re still there.We can all give and take more or less at times, but over time relationships should even out, otherwise resentment sets in. Some people are better at staying in touch than others. It’s often less that people don’t want to be in contact, more that they lack confidence to reach out. However, if you’re suggesting things, it’s not a bad idea to pause and see what happens. This can jump-start others into action, but be prepared to see the friendship wither. Be honest with yourself; sometimes we can feel we’re doing all the work but when we check back over texts, we, too, have cancelled and forgotten.Family patterns are devilishly difficult to change, but it’s possible with perseverance. In the “drama triangle”, roles are often set, with someone the victim, someone the rescuer and someone the persecutor. Think which you and other members of your family might be. Difficult sibling that never pitches in? Victim. Controlling parent whose life is just one long nightmare? Persecutor. If you’re always the one who pitches in to help your parents – rescuer – what would happen if you didn’t? Are things always someone else’s fault? Victim. Look at your place in things. Childhood patterns can also play out in friendships: if we’re used to rejection, a friend saying they’re busy twice in a row could equate to “They hate me”, so you reject them before being rejecte
Relationships Communication Social Dynamics Family Patterns Self-Awareness
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