Many kids - regardless of their background - are in real need of help with being kind. Parents can provide a crucial guide.
that Princess Mary and Crown Prince Frederik of Denmark had pulled their son, Christian, out of his prestigious boarding school, which has been rocked with allegations of abuse and harassment among the students.
“I talk to parents from a lot of different countries, and the achievement pressure issue is something I hear about a lot,” says Weissbourd, faculty director of Harvard’sproject, a national program aimed at making moral development a priority for parents and educators. The problems arise, he says, when kids feel pressure to achieve for status’ sake, and are pushed to be very competitive, which can often make kids feel threatened by other kids.
Parents also need to provide opportunities to help children practice caring and gratitude, says Weissbourd. Perhaps most importantly, children need to learn to care for those beyond their immediate family and friends, and in particular people who are different from themselves in gender, sexual orientation, religion or culture, he adds.
“But you can learn social skills,” she says. “Even though I don’t know what you’re feeling, I can learn from a psychologist, or mum and dad, to go [to someone who’s distressed], ‘it’s OK, can I get you a drink?’. That’s kindness, even though I don’t actually know what you’re feeling.”