THE HEAVENS—Emerging from behind a cloud blind in a blaze orange miter and camouflaged vestments, His Holiness Pope Francis reportedly celebrated with fellow clergymen Thursday after bagging a highly coveted prize in this year’s Vatican seraphim hunt: a six-winged trophy angel.
The pope posed for a photograph with the rare specimen, holding up the angel’s limp carcass to display all six of its wings. Witnesses stated that Francis spent hours tracking the seraph through the firmament and then patiently lay in wait, baiting it with nectar and calling it with a device that mimics the sound of an angelic choir singing God’s praises.
Held each year on the first day of angel-hunting season, the event is reportedly open to all members of the Roman Cu “Rough estimate, I’d say this six-winger I got today will yield 100, maybe 150 pounds of meat,” the Vicar of Christ continued. “My mouth is watering already.”The pope went on to state that a good hunter makes sure no part of an angel goes to waste. Because the trophy he bagged Thursday is on the smaller side, Francis said he most likely will not have the angel’s ethereal remains stuffed and placed in the Sistine Chapel, as he has with others.
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