Stay together for you, separate for you, divorce for you, and no one else.
I’ll be the first person to admit I stayed in my marriage a lot longer than I should have for my children. I think it’s normal to want to hang on after you’ve built a home and family together. No one wants to go it alone, parent solo, or spend holidays without their children. When you have had a partner to share these moments with for so long, it feels easier to stay where you are and hope for the best.
“What about the kids?” was a question that got thrown around quite a bit when I started telling people my ex-husband and I were separating. People who have never faced divorced or separation are so quick to go there, and yes, it makes you second-guess yourself and your decision. I should also tell you, this argument happened a month prior. So, not only do our kids feel the effects of our unhappiness, those feelings linger for a long time.Don’t let those pre-divorce ghosts haunt you regardless of what anyone says, even if they try to shame you into staying together for your children.
We made vows to each other before our kids were born that we weren’t able to honor. We were in love once, made a beautiful family, but that love went away. We tried, but we weren’t able to get it back. We both deserve to find it again, and our kids need to see both of us loved in the right way. We knew it wasn’t going to be with each other, and trying to fake it for their sake was destroying us. It could have destroyed them, too.
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