'It was never easy to forge that path with being all this in a place where all this wasn't always easily accepted,' he wrote. 'I wasn't sure how to be accepted and how to be loved, but I figured it out...and I let my spirit in there and I let it shine.'
"It feels kind of 'Twilight Zone'-ish, but I do have this very kind of calm sense of 'I did this for a reason,''' he said."And I stand by those reasons, and I think it is really important for me to speak about things I talk about in this book, so I think it was the right thing to do."
"There's been a lot of studies in the National Institute in the UK and here and by the CDC that basically, 'undetectable equals untransmittable,''' he said."As long as you're adhering to your medication and seeing your doctor every three months." Van Ness, 32, was working as a hairdresser in St. Louis when he fainted while doing a client's hair. The next day, he went to Planned Parenthood, where he found out he was HIV-positive.Sept. 23, 2019"When I got HIV, I felt that I wasn't allowed to be seen as sexy or desirable,'' he also wrote."I had to work so much harder to fall in love with and accept where I'd come to in my life, and forgive myself for all the decisions I'd made to get there.
Van Ness also writes lovingly about his mother, Mary Winters, an ovarian cancer survivor who was a supportive presence when he came out as gay as a young man and later struggled with cocaine addiction in college.
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