Masterson has been sentenced to 30 years to life in prison after he was convicted on two of three rape counts.
I now know that—I know that—excuse me. I know that was his game: the cycle of abuse. He'd hurt me. He'd ignore me. I'd grovel at his feet apologizing to him for what he did to hurt me, then he'd show me kindness. It's incredibly difficult for me to talk about the trauma and abuse I've experienced in my life. I have realized through the last few years that the reason is Danny Masterson.
I cannot sleep next to anyone, not even my husband, my sweet husband. I don't know what I did to deserve such a good and decent and gentle man, always patient and never questioning. He's never, in 14 years of marriage, ever made me think he would harm me in any way. Yet, I cannot sleep in bed next to him.
After reporting Mr. Masterson to law enforcement, me and my family started being Fair Gamed by Scientology just as they had threatened they would back in 2002. Danny, the day you were convicted my mom came over to take me to dinner in a little part of the town nearby where I've lived for two decades that has often felt a little dangerous for me. A part of the town that you and your army hold as a kind of territory. I hadn't really felt allowed to be over there without some amount of vigilance. And as we ate our food I quietly began to feel lighter. I started to feel soft.
Still, for 13 years I was resigned in turns to outright deny it to myself, blame myself, or try to forget it and move on, but always sure to never seek justice. When you raped me you stole from me. That is what rape is, a theft of the spirit. You disfigured my life. You stole some crucial pieces of my self worth and lessened my capacity for joy. You made every part of me turn on myself.
When you raped me you stole my ability to create any sort of real stability in my life in innumerable ways for well over a decade, Danny. My relationships with boyfriends, family, friends were increasingly fraught and suffered from the distortion this event made of me. I had to go into such denial to survive it that I couldn't understand what was wrong with me. I became vexed and unstable.
More recently an entire year where the pain was so potent in my legs I could not walk. Since the rape my intimacy with men was often riddled with issues and an actual, acute, stabbing feeling that can suddenly reappear from that night. This is a common issue for rape and sexual assault survivors. It never once dawned on you that you'd be held accountable. You've glided easily through your life as a depraved criminal without consequence for so long that you thought not only the law didn't apply to you—but that karma had no eye on you either. You move in smugness and spite while the spirit of life itself watches you. You live and breathe without humility or tenderness in the gift of your life that God gave you—that God gives us all.
She explained clearly in texts that she was coordinating with her Scientology handlers and their legal department, and she would happily cooperate and testify here in this court, but Scientology was not to be dragged into it. She had firm rules, and I had to choose between cooperating fully with law enforcement and the courts or shielding Scientology and keeping my mother in my life.
This letter that I will read later was forensically authenticated along with the metadata showing that my mother had written it from her login. This letter was verified as authored and unaltered since March of 2004 when it was written and sent to David Miscavige. I know this letter was written by her as she showed it to me after she sent it in 2004 so I wouldn't get in trouble with Scientology for helping her to write it.
I still don't recall what I wore out the door, Mr. Cohen. But I do know one thing you didn't ask me... I never could find my underwear. I know this because when I got home, I didn't have any on. And I remember being upset and embarrassed about the idea that my underwear were somewhere at Danny's house. At some point, I recall making it downstairs that day to the exit of his house—to that front patio.
I remember getting home sometime in the afternoon of April 25th, my dad's birthday. We had our big annual family trip to celebrate him. That was our tradition, and that entailed my parents flying about 12 of us to Florida to spend the week of his birthday at his favorite hotel. I recall getting home after Danny's house and slumping into the first chair I encountered. I was home. I wanted to be safe. I was in a daze. I stared into space for a long time.
When we returned to Los Angeles a week later, I reported what Danny did to me to my Church, just as their strict policies demanded and I was trained to do. And I followed these kinds of rules and policies my whole life. There are consequences when you don't. As Danny demanded in April '04, I was forced by Scientology executive Kirsten Catano to sit across from him in a meeting at a conference table where he claimed he would apologize and make a promise to never repeat such a crime on any woman if he could just hear me describe in detail how awful and violent the assault had been for me. I naively believed in the possibility of redemption, and I agreed to speak about the whole ordeal.
I told Kirsten the meeting was over. I'm sorry. Yeah. I saw—I saw the defendant when Jane Doe 2 was speaking. I looked over. I knew her pain, and I knew what she was looking at and what was looking at her... I knew he belonged behind bars for the safety of all women. And I'm so sorry because—why I am so upset is that I spent a year doing what I did and I know yours was after mine. So, it was really painful today but, I think, necessary. I wish I had reported him sooner to the police.
The reason she knew about what this monster did to her mom was the monster himself arranged for the son of one of his friends, one of his homies, one of my daughter's classmates to tell my daughter—to tell her, to shame her and say her mommy was a liar and Danny didn't rape her mommy. I still remember the day I picked her up from school and from the back seat my child asked,"Mommy, what is rape?"... She was nine years old. I mentioned that in my letter to the IJC.
The NDA explicitly stated it had to do with rape and assault. Not just an NDA—and all of the steps I must take to make sure Danny and his team knew if law enforcement ever came sniffing around this whole crime or if I intended to initiate recontact and I was to send a certified letter to an address to Marty Singer.
I started splashing water on my face. It was pouring down my face and my hair. And then I see one black loafer and a second come down, and the door opens. And I recognized the girl smiling at me, and Rosario looked at her and said,"We have to leave," and pushed me into the hallway. Because she didn't have the space—or grace to give me that space. With my face wet, my hair disheveled, that's where I went. I don't know if this is a game to them, but this Is a real court.
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