When you try to set boundaries, it helps to convey some authority. Briefly refer to the expertise you bring to the table.
are easy to find at work. They include the boss who asks you to work the weekend you have a family wedding or the client who tacks on two more presentations to the senior team than you agreed to, or the team leader who assigns you more work than your colleagues.who says, “But Daddy said I could have another cookie!” Or the 17 year old who commits to driving three friends to the movies without first asking your permission to borrow the car.
There are times when you can gain something from conceding, but you’ll need to reset the boundary bargain as a part of the same conversation. For example: “What can you tell me about the people we’re creating this how-to-interview program for? Are they experienced interviewers? What concerns do you have about their ability to select the right person for the job?”
“I’m very excited about taking this job, and I understand you want me to start right away, but I have a two-week vacation planned with my family. Would you like me to start after I take my vacation or take the vacation after I start?” Don’t say you can’t come to a party because you don’t have a babysitter, because then the host could offer to let your children come, too. Then you’d be forced to say, “But that wouldn’t work because . . . ” Instead, say, “I wish we could, but we just can’t,” and leave it like that.Emergencies occur. You will drop everything to take your daughter to the emergency room when she breaks her leg. You will work more hours than is reasonable to make sure that product gets out the door on time.
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