The idea of ‘getting over someone’ is commonly associated with the end of a relationship – but should it be the standard we’re all chasing? Stylist investigates.
But dealing with this initial pain is only the first hurdle. Yourmay subside, but as time goes on, you’ll likely find yourself confronted by another challenge: moving on. It’s an expectation which haunts all newly single people at one point or another. Just when you start to feel OK, the idea of ‘getting over’ your ex and focusing on the future is thrust into your lap.
“The rhetoric of getting over someone leads people to fill the gap with a new partner or hook-up, which I don’t think helps their healing in the long run. In my opinion, it’s better to fill the gap with yourself by learning who you are after the relationship. We need to take break-ups as a chance to fill ourselves again, without the influence of another.”is a break-up and divorce coach who helps women navigate the end of their relationships.
“When we end a relationship there are often feelings of loss, regret, sadness, hurt and anger, as well as unfinished business,” Garbutt explains. “Getting over someone means completing that unfinished business for yourself even if you’re not able to complete it with them.”She continues: “A break-up is a real opportunity to grow and change.
“What was the mismatch? Were we dimming down our own lights in order to be acceptable in the relationship? Were we tolerating bad behaviour or behaving in ways we didn’t like? It’s this honest evaluation that will allow you to develop new relationship skills so that you don’t just repeat.”How to get back into dating after a long-term relationship, according to the experts
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